Maybe that title isn’t perfectly accurate.  I feel like I have a lot of motivation inside me.  I know all kinds of things I feel like I want to get done.  I just feel more like I want to rest.

Researching the term “motivation” I came to realize that there are different meanings.  The kind of motivation I have in my first paragraph, and the kind of motivation I lack.  My motivation can refer to the “why” of what I want to do.  If I feel hungry, that can be my motivation to eat.  But just feeling hungry may or may not be enough of a motivating factor to get me up, into the kitchen, and preparing something to eat.  It may or may not be enough to get me to take a handful of nuts from a bag on my night stand.

Therefore, motivation is not just what we want, but it is the thing that triggers us to apply the actual energy needed to get something done.

In the past four days, since my first post, I have accomplished several things, many of which were physically active.  And I am proud of myself for these.  Some of the things I’ve done since Friday include:

  1. Riding my stationary bike
  2. Using a belt sander to improve the surfaces of three stumps used for a table and chairs
  3. Watering the front lawn that my husband reseeded so our lawn be nicer
  4. Making the first dough in my new bread machine
  5. Driving around, running errands, marketing, and picking up children
  6. Completing and submitting a report that was due
  7. Weeding, planting, and mulching in the yard
  8. Did some actual meal preparation and cooking

I am particularly happy with my sanding work.  It is a task I had been putting off for weeks.  The anticipated tedium of getting to the job overrode my motivation.  It included going to work room, getting out the belt sander, installing a new sanding belt, bringing it upstairs and outside, getting the extension cord, starting it up and getting the settings right so that the sanding belt stays in the right position,  Bored, yet?

Keep repeating, “this is worthwhile” while avoiding “this is dull” helped me get to it.  That, and the knowledge that it hadn’t rained in a few days, and the grain was just right for sanding.  Here are some pictures:

Hm…perhaps not as impressive to my audience, as it is to me.

Nonetheless, to me, this is beauty.  I took these shots when I was about a third of the way through the task.  This way, you can see how dark and moldy the stump tops were getting without sanding or sealing.  The belt sander vibrates strongly when used, and I have to take breaks to let my hands recover.  But the results, of seeing that brown and black crud disappear, and the nearly white wood getting revealed, is, dare I say it, quite motivating.

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Not that I’ve gotten everything done on my intention list in the past four days.  I purchased the beef for stew, but didn’t make the stew, yet.  The house could still use some cleaning.  Laundry is not done.  But I’ve definitely been moving my body more, and for that I am happy with my progress.

Motivation seems more likely when I can focus on the results I want, rather than focusing on the anticipated dull parts.  Focus on keeping the wood from deteriorating, and how much longer they will last with proper care.  Focus on the ease of having a few meals done, just by making one big pot of stew.  Focus on feeling better and improving my physical stamina, from moving around more.

I can do this.

Courage,

Shulamit

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