If I write a blog, maybe that will help me get stuff done.
I’ve noticed that I’m having trouble accomplishing things I honestly want to do. Like meditating or exercising regularly. Or cooking healthy meals. Or doing laundry.
I have plenty of excuses. Solid excuses. Pain, illness, anxiety…
I know that the best thing I can do to improve myself, is to literally get moving. Pain, health, mood…all of them benefit from a little bit of regular exercise. They are each also the excuses I use to avoid exercise.
I escape working on getting stuff done, by finding something else that “I must do first.” Today I went to the library and checked out a stack of books. I looked for books about exercise for people like me. You know, wimps. Charts, instructions, encouragement, science, psychology, everything I could possibly need to know to start an exercise program. You know, so I’ll feel better.
Driving home from the library, it hit me. “Wow, I’m really good at escaping.”
Five months ago, I set up my computer to pop up a screen and read out loud a reminder to do a simple breathing meditation for five minutes each day. And a second screen, six minutes later, to congratulate myself. So far, I remember to breathe two or three times at the reminder, and again at the congratulatory message. (How embarrassing.) I realized that if I haven’t managed to take the time to breathe for five minutes a day, even when I am reminded and have no good excuses, what makes me think that anything in any of those books is going to result in my doing exercise every day?
Why don’t I do these things that I really, truly want to do? One reason is that I find them boring and irritating. Somehow, they feel like a waste of my time. And my inclination to avoid those negative feelings is stronger than my inclination to do things that are good for me. I successfully escape those boring and irritating tasks, which results in escaping accomplishment, too.
On an average day, I spend maybe an hour or two watching TV or reading novels or looking at entertaining websites. I spend a lot of time taking care of family needs. I do not have a regular job, but I do spend some time with clients. I spend a reasonable amount of time taking care of the unavoidable activities of daily living like showering, eating, and cleaning the kitchen. And I spend an unreasonable amount of time reading and writing.
I am certain that I could apply an hour a day toward getting things done that I am presently not getting done, like exercising or meditating or laundry. But I’d be so bored and irritated during those sixty minutes. Clearly, I feel like good health and clean laundry are things I should just be entitled to, not have to work for. (See this article about entitlement and boredom.)
If I felt better, all that knowledge running around in my brain could be put to good use. I’m going to figure out how to get things done. And I’m going to write about it here. Success is a good thing.
Escaping success just isn’t working for me.
I can do this.
Courage,
Shulamit
Courage 
Hi, stumbled on this while researching something else. Wow its amazing to read of someone else struggling with the exact same things that I struggle with on a daily basis. Its a relief as it been too easy all my life to accept the negative label of ‘lazy’.
I’m retired, quite ill and often find myself still sitting and reading at 4 pm! Nothing else done. Thank goodness I have a dog who begins to nag me at that point as he wants to go to the dog park. Which is key in my approach to solutions. Mostly for decades I hated myself but also observed that if a task was needed for someone else I could complete it. So caring for a child, an elderly relative, my dogs, etc I could always do (often reluctantly) while doing anything because it was ‘good’ for me was always a non-starter. So instead of using willpower, which often fails with a fall out of self-loathing, I have slowly learned to set up situations where I have no choice.
I formed a loose set of of people who walk their dogs at the same time- they come looking for me if I don’t show. But most importantly they expect me and my dog loves to play with their dogs so unable to disappoint I haul myself out (often cursing under my breath) and then find I actually enjoy the hour outdoors. This is my exercise and because others depend on me it is doable. When very, very ill over a decade ago I got two large rescued dogs- I knew I would have to walk them twice a day and that this would prevent me from disintegrating physically further. It worked although I often cried as I walked them as it was painful. However it helped me recover. In my twenties with my first apartment it rapidly became apparent that I would never wash my dishes- no strategy worked. Then I learnt how to cook one dish- believe it was Beef Stroganof, invited over a number of co-workers then in a panic cleaned my apartment in the hours before their arrival. Quickly this became a biweekly event, I could not force myself to clean up after one dinner party so would throw another one! In the process I developed wonderful cooking skills and a deep pleasure in all culinary processes.
My local grocery delivers groceries for free. Its just a 6 block walk away to select and pay for them. In fact most stores I need are within walking range. However this did not result in me walking or cycling to get anything. My somewhat radical response was to give my car to my grown daughter who lives half an hour away. She is happy to bring it to me when its needed for out of town trips. Sometimes due to illness or pain I do without things I need but often I set out feeling terrible and somewhere during the walk I feel much better. Or I feel dreadful the whole time but also feel some pride in the fact that out of need I am placing one foot in front of another. And that overall these walks to shop are contributing to my overall health improvements.
These are just examples. I think people who procrastinate, feel bored with routine tasks or have other motivation issues should stop beating themselves up and trying over and over to have will power in areas that do not interest them. Our forebears either had to complete all tasks to survive or to be socially accepted or they had servants complete them. If you stop viewing it as a character flaw that you must overcome, stop viewing exercise as something outside of daily life (i.e. requiring a gym or yoga mat, etc) and instead see it as using your body to accomplish your daily tasks you may find yourself succeeding more frequently.
This may not work for everyone and I still have major gaps where I have not managed to turn tasks into ‘required’ ones but I have stopped hating myself and I am much more productive in personal activities than I ever was before. I am pleased especially as retirement (or any unscheduled life) is very difficult to navigate for someone like me.
I think one of the biggest losses to gifted children is that they do not learn early how to persevere at routine tasks. They learn so immediately without practise that they are often fully grown before its realized that they have not developed skills for quickly completing routine tasks with their minds in some other plane. And that is my one other successful approach – all of my execise is chosen for the daydreaming factor. If it is a repetitive action that frees my mnd to wander around then I can spend relaxed and pleasurable time while active all while ‘writing’ a chapter or designing something.
Again I am so pleased- I have never had anyone so frankly describe this issue. Thank you!
Dear Mickey, Thank you for your very open response. Of course, my big laugh with this blog, is the posts I’ve made, I really am proud of. But the number of posts, well, not quite as many as I would have liked.
Still, something will come along and get me going, and I’ll write another post.
I’m sure some of it is procrastination, as Martin, below, suggests. But it is more than that. Some complex set of triggers that do and do not happen to me, that most people seem to have automatically work in their minds.
This past year, I accidentally found myself rising in the ranks of leadership in a nonprofit organization. Worked harder this year than I have in a long time. And all volunteer, no pay. Now, If I could find a way to feel this motivated and be paid for it, that would be really great.
And I’ve written a lot of great stuff…submitting it to publishers, not so much.
Your problem is also called procrastination: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Procrastination
I had the same problems, I am not saying I managed to get rid off all my problems, but I am working towards my goals now. Especially the exercising and going regularly to gym was a problem. Now I set goals. I started with the most efficient solution (for me the most efficient). I hired a professional trainer for a lot of money, which prevented me of not going to the gym, just because I do not feel like or that there is something more important. Once you pay for the training, suddenly not many things are more important than actually using the money you spent.
Of course I spent a lot of time doing things that I found more important than other, but finally I am at least able to realize what to do and when. It is good to make a plan and motivate yourself to stick to the plan.
My biggest problem at the moment is going to bed earlier than 1am. I am very inefficient in reaching the goal. I had the same thing with eating regularly and eating healthier. I managed to change my bad habits.
I think that more smaller achievements lead to greater achievements in the end. It is necessary to start with small things and move to the bigger goals, once you manage to achieve several smaller tasks.
Also it is good to set rewards for certain goals. Those rewards should not be vices. Say that you want to achieve 100 calories burnt within less than 9 minutes. Once you achieve that in the gym, reward can be much longer period for achieving the next 100 calories burn out. Thus you are motivated to run even longer, yet it is still more pleasant than before. Do you know what I mean?
Have a good time and good luck with your goals.
Hi Shu, I wouldn’t exercise if it were boring and irritating to me either! There are some kinds of exercise I do only when I have to, when I’m injured and cannot do my regular exercise, for example, swimming. I don’t really like to swim so there is that ‘getting myself to the pool’ aspect. But my regular exercise, skating, is something that I love and have all kinds of goals with, things that I really want to achieve. I think for a lot of people it helps to have a goal, like an event you are going to run or walk in for example, maybe raising money for a charity that you care about. Or a skill you want to master. For me the skating itself is rewarding, I love the feeling of it. And I have friends at the rink. A lot of people have friends in their exercise class or friends that they walk with, that’s another way to make the exercise rewarding and something that you look forward to. Good luck!
Well, Mary, I did get a lot of exercise done this week, cleaning up the water and silt that seeped into my basement from the heavy rains. Squats and bending over, for about 2 hours, took a break, and then the water came back, and another two hours.
Got to be an easier way for me to get myself to exercise, LOL! It’s been 3 days, and I’m still sore.
Laundry is easy because it washes itself while you do something else. Just start a load and exercise until it is done. Then put it in the dryer and take care of something else till it’s dry. Then fold everything before it gets wrinkled. You can use the laundry to supply the discipline for another activity (exercise) if you tie them together. Just a thought. Worth a try.
Thanks for the comment, Marilyn. It is wonderful that you see laundry as easy!
Ha! I’ve never mastered the ‘and then fold it before it gets wrinkled’ part of this strategy. But hey, at least the clothes are clean.
I hate being bored too. And I can’t sit still to read for any length of time. So I walk and read. I get easy books that I really get absorbed in and have always wanted to read.
If I were on the treadmill at the gym it would be good. But instead of a treadmill, I go for the “not boring” aspect of “walk where I could actually be hit by a car, it’s much more exciting” thing of walking the side streets rather than on a treadmill. What works for *you* is important.
I can picture it, Sarah. Do you take Rufus along for these dangerous reading walks, too? Lady living on the edge!
Shu, I love the idea of writing as a way to encourage yourself to do what you don’t want to do but know you need. I have a feeling it would help me too! Kind of like keeping a diet log but funner!
Can’t wait to read more!
Hugs and more courage,
Rosie
Thank you, Rosie. I *am* hoping this will keep it funner. 🙂